A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano
by Lipton Lee
Summary: Exactly what the title implies. 1 year in Jess's life Post Season 6
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters belong to...well...I don't know who anymore. But they aren't mine! So don't sue me!  
Rating: PG-13...for naughty words...inapropriate make-up use, and other crazy things.  
A/N: So, after much debating, I decided what the hell, and to post this. It's short, SHORT chapters. Not long at all. Snippets. Don't except much of an over-arching plot, as real life rarely seems to have one.  
Summary: Just another year, for Jess Mariano.  
Spoilers: Gilmore Girls seasons 1-6. 

**A Year in the Live of Jess Mariano**

_Ch. 1: June 14th. Happy Brithday_

At 3:43 am on June 14th, Jess Mariano's cell phone started ringing. He sat up silently and slowly before picking it up.

"What?"

"Happy birthday."

"It's my birthday?"

He heard her giggle. "Yes, silly. You're 22 today."

"Oh."

"Go back to sleep, Jess."

"Okay, Mom." With that, Jess hung up.

-----

"Here! Over here!"

"Ssssshhhh! You're gonna wake him up!"

Jess's eyes cracked open. "I'm already awake."

He sat up and found his two roommates standing over him, holding a copious amount of female beauty supplies.

Matt smiled nervously. "Happy birthday?"

Chris snorted with a loud laugh.

Jess glared. "Fuck you both."

-----

"Happy birthday."

Jess grinned into the phone. "Thanks, Uncle Luke."

"How does 22 feel?"

He shrugged. "Just about the same as 21…a lot calmer than 20."

"Good to hear."

"How are you?"

"Uh…Lorelai and I broke up."

"Oh, man."

Luke sighed. "She wanted to elope. I wasn't ready."

"So she broke up with you?"

"She didn't exactly say that, but she did go and sleep with Rory's father."

Jess flinched. "Actions speak louder than words."

"Right. Hey, enough about me. Got plans to celebrate?"

"Chris is forcing me to go to Hooters."

Luke snickered.

"Shut up."

"Have fun with whatever crazy birthday dance they make you do."

Jess fought back laughter. "How would you know they make you do birthday dances?"

"Bye, Jess."

-----

His father and mother both called during the day.

Jess's phone rang again as he was closing up the bookstore.

"Hello?"

No one answered.

"Hello?"

He sighed when he still got no answer.

"I'm hanging u-"

"Happy birthday." Click.

Jess blinked and hung up. "Dammit, Rory."


	2. Chapter 2

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Ch. 2. June 18th. Father's Day_

June 18th found Jess Mariano staring at his cell phone from his spot at his desk.

It was noon in Venice Beach, California, and 4 pm in Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Matt had taken the day off to surprise his father in Pittsburg, and Chris was going home for dinner twenty minutes away. This would leave Jess to himself, which he was looking forward to.

If he could just pick up the phone and dial a few numbers before the day was over.

It was funny. These sorts of things never concerned him before. He'd gone most of his life without a thought to father's day because he'd grown up without one. He'd never been a big fan of holidays that demanded some sort of command performance. He should call Jimmy when he feels like calling Jimmy; Luke, too.

What was he supposed to say? "Hi, I didn't really feel like calling you, but I did anyways. Because this stupid holiday dictates that I have to. So, happy father's day!"

Or:

"I'm only calling you because if I don't, I know I'll feel guilty. Happy father's day!"

Never mind the fact that neither Jimmy nor Luke were too, too deserving of father's day recognition. Jimmy had left him at birth and then shown up 17 years later, only to run away again. Then, when Jess followed him, he was a pretty poor excuse for…well…anything, really. It was true, Luke was better by leaps and bounds, but he'd still done a pretty terrible job fathering him during Jess's high school years. Luke had eventually kicked him out.

Though he had to admit that he kind of (very much) deserved that.

Finally, he rolled his eyes at himself and picked up his phone, dialing Jimmy's number quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jimmy."

"Jess! Hey!"

"Happy father's day."

Jimmy said nothing for a long moment. "Uh…thanks."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Well…bye, Jimmy."

"Bye, Jess…Thanks for calling."

"Yeah." With that, he hung up, wondering how he'd let that get so…stupid. He sighed and dialed Luke's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Jess! Hey!"

"Happy father's day, Dad," Jess teased.

"Why, thank you son," Luke replied snidely. "April is taking me fishing."

"Wow. Lucky you. She'll probably fall out of the boat."

"Thank you for making me more paranoid."

"Any time."

Silence took them over.

"Come with."

"What!"

"Come on! We're not leaving til tomorrow. Take a few days and come fishing," Luke coaxed. "Your grandfather's boat is finally ready to be taken out. It'll be fun."

"Fishing with you and April…"

"Come on. We haven't spent any real time together since your mother's wedding."

Jess stayed silent.

"I'm bringing beer."

"And you talked me into it."

Maybe father's day didn't suck all that much…


	3. Chapter 3

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Ch. 3: June 21. Pee on Earth Day_

Jess got back to Philly three days later (June 21st), and parked his car outside Truncheon Books.

He walked to the front of the store to find his roommates, along with a couple of store regulars peeing in the bushes.

"You know, we have working bathrooms," Jess pointed out slowly.

"June 21st!" Matt cried jubilantly. "Happy Pee on Earth Day, Buddy!"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Just as long as it isn't 'Pee on the Merchandise Day.'"

"That's tomorrow," Chris grinned.

"Of course," Jess nodded. "How could I forget…" he glanced at a young man his age with bleached hair and safety pins sticking out of his jeans and t-shirt. He was one of the regulars in the store. "Garreth, how long have you been peeing?"

"Ten minutes, man!" Garreth cried! He stuck out his pierced tongue. "I'm going for a record!"

"And on that note," Jess muttered, turning away and walking into the store. It was starting to become more crowded and he sighed and shook his head. "Happy Pee on Earth Day!"

The assembled customers cheered.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Ch. 4: July Fourth_

The Fourth of July rolled around sooner than Jess had expected, and before he knew it, Chris had stockpiled enough fireworks to keep the sky above the White House lit up for an entire twenty-four hours.

Jess picked up a Flying Betsy and shook his head. "What do you need all this for?"

"The fireworks out in the back yard tonight," Chris replied.

"You're gonna set the entire city on fire," Jess said. "And I'm gonna get blamed."

Chris snickered.

Jess shook his head. "Besides…I don't see the point in celebrating. It's not like we're some great nation anymore. We're practically terrorists."

"We are not," Matt argued walking up the stairs from the shop to their apartment.

"We are," Jess nodded. "Look at-"

"No," Chris snapped. "No more politics talk. The last time that happened you drove six people out of the store."

Jess wandered over to the fridge and sighed as he opened it. Then he stopped. "Who put the moldy pizza from the trash back in here?"

"It's not moldy!" Matt cried. "The fuzz is just…decorative!"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys, the sun is going down. It's just about show time!"

"I can see it now," Jess muttered. "Philly in flames…"

-----

"That one almost hit a tree!"

"Did not," Chris said. "It just…waved hello at the tree."

Matt's eyes widened. "Waved hello! It tried to molest the tree with it's…fire worki-ness!"

Jess shook his head and sipped his soda from their small back porch as he watched Chris set fire to another batch of fireworks and running for his life. They went off and exploded in the sky.


	5. Chapter 5

I myself am a knitter. And so this chapter is not to offend knitters. I'm just mocking our kind to be silly. ;)**  
**

**  
A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Part August 8th: Sneak Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch night_

Next door to the boys' shop and office was The Purl; a knitting and yarn shop. The women who owned it, two middle-aged divorcees, had always treated Truncheon Books as more of a passing fad than their new, permanent neighbors. While Matt had tried his darnedest to make a lasting, charming impression, the two women couldn't be bothered to even remember their names. Matt was Mark, Chris was Waldo, and Jess was Chip.

And so it was for these reasons that Matt had decided that The Purl would be their target for Sneak Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch night.

Chris and Jess sauntered along behind Matt, watching him walk purposefully down the sidewalk with a plastic bag full of zucchini.

"I just don't see the point," Jess shrugged. "It's zucchini."

"Rotten zucchini," Chris corrected. "Disgusting, mushy, green, rotten zucchini."

"Who thought this up, anyways?" Jess asked. "Whatever happened to the tradition of leaving a flaming bag of dog shit on your neighbor's porch?"

"No imagination," Matt replied from in front of them.

"That's not the point," Jess replied. "The point is-"

"Don't try," Chris cut in.

Jess and Chris watched as Matt walked softly up the front steps of the knitting shop and carefully set the zucchini down.

And then he ran.

His two roommates watched before sauntering back behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Part 6 August 18th: Bad Poetry Day_

Jess walked up in front of the group gathered at Truncheon and cleared his throat. "Hello, all. Welcome to Bad Poetry day. I know you're all itching to get up here with your absolutely atrocious pieces of shit…But this is my store. So I get to go first."

He cleared his throat, and pulled out a sheet of paper. "The Poem of Constant Sorrow. By Jess, Matthew and Christopher."

"I am so sad. It is so bad, that I am so sad. It makes me mad, that I am so sad. It's not a fad, and I'm not glad, because I am sad. I broke my shoe, I didn't know what to do, especially since there was gum, too, I am such a foo'."

With that, the assembled crowd giggled.

"And my momma said, I'm over-fed, and I stay in bed…to long. But she smokes a bong, and wears a thong, and so everything she says is wrong, wrong, wrong. My Daddy's bad, and very sad. He left me here, and I'm in tears in the dark. Alone."

"How much alcohol did we have last night while writing this?" Chris asked Matt.

"Oh, god!" Jess cried. "Why won't you let me die. I just want to fry, like a chicken at Popeye's, and go up into the sky and lie dead. In eternal bed, where I can lose my head, and stay away from…Ned? God…we were really drunk…uhm…Ah! So hear my plea, and come to me, and let me be not sad anymore. Show me the door, and don't knock me on the floor, and give me no more sadness."

He bowed and everyone clapped.

"Thank you. Thank you. I'd like thank Mr. Jack Daniels for the wonderful support he gave us in writing this last night."

The crowd laughed again.

"So, let the rest of the god-awful swill flow! Have at it!" With that, Jess walked off and to the back of the store where his friends were waiting.

"I can't believe it," Matt shook his head.

"You owe me twenty bucks," Jess told him.

"I told you not to bet him," Chris said. He sighed and looked around, spotting a thin brunette in tweed by the door. "Hey, Jess…isn't that…?"

Jess followed his stare, and then looked away. "Yeah."

"Aren't you gonna go talk to her?"

"Nope."

"Can I?" Matt asked.

"She's got a boyfriend," Jess replied.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" Chris asked.

"She called for my birthday and then hung up."

"You should talk to her," Matt said.

"I have nothing to say,"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Bullshit."

"She's here," Matt pointed out. "She's obviously got something to say."

"It's nothing I haven't already heard," Jess replied. "I'm tired of it. I'm not putting up with it anymore." He sighed and began to walk away. "I'm gonna go upstairs. I've got work to do on those new manuscripts."

As Jess made his way up the stairs, Rory walked over to the two other boys. "Is uh…is it okay if I go upstairs to-"

"No," Matt replied.

Rory blinked. "But-"

"He went upstairs to get away from you," Chris said. "So no. You're not allowed upstairs. No one goes upstairs who doesn't work here."

"Well…do you know when he's coming back?" she asked.

"Probably when you're gone," Matt replied.

Rory paled. "He's really mad at me, isn't he?"

"I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say yes," Chris nodded.

"I'm really sorry," Rory said. "This is weird for me…it's just…Jess has never had friends before, and-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Matt asked, cutting her off. "A bunch of his friends came down from New York for the signing three days ago. They said they knew each other in high school."

"Well…I uh…I guess I never met them," Rory said quietly.

"Doesn't mean they don't exist," Chris shrugged.

"I know that," she defended. "It's just weird for me."

Matt frowned. "Maybe you should just go home…"

Rory looked down for a long moment before walking off.

-----

Upstairs, Jess lay on sprawled out on the couch. He'd taken his shoes and jacket off, and was staring blankly at the ceiling.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: GILMORE BASHING AHOY! Remember what time period this takes place in (post season 6). Both Gilmores have done both Diner Men wrong. They're not too too pleased. Don't flame for their bashing. Thanks!**  
**

**  
A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

_Part 7  
September 5th: Luke's Birthday_

Upon arriving in Stars Hollow, Jess hopped out of his car, and began to make his way to the diner.

"Hey! You!"

He slowed his pace and looked to the sky. "Jesus fuck."

Lorelai caught up to him and stood in front of him. "What's the big idea, you ignoring Rory when she came to see you a few weeks ago?"

"Gee, Lorelai. I don't know. What was the big idea, you giving Luke a crazy, psychotic ultimatum, and then fucking your ex?"

"How dare you!"

"How dare I!" Jess cried. "How dare I. Did you know that in May, your daughter showed up at my store, led me on, and nearly used me to get back at her cheating douche bag of a boyfriend?"

Lorelai said nothing.

"Did you know Luke loved you more than anyone he's ever had in his life? Shit. He loved you more than Rachel. And you fucked it up."

She glared.

"I didn't come here to play angry relative with you," he spat. "I've got a dinner to start making."

"What?"

"It's Luke's birthday," Jess replied. "Family stuff. Go away." With that, he walked to the diner.

"Jess!" Luke said, looking up.

He scowled. "Fucking Gilmores can't leave well enough alone."

"Somebody had a run-in with a Lorelai," Patty muttered from her table.

Jess kept grumbling.

"Baby!"

He looked up just in time to be mauled by his mother.

"Hi, Liz."

"Hi, Jessie."

"Hi."

"Which one was it this time?"

"The stupid one."

Liz giggled and pulled away from her son. "Which one?"

"The old one."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Jesus fuck."

"That's what I said," Jess replied. "Didn't those two used to have...I don't know...brains?"

"Somewhere along the way," Luke muttered.

Jess frowned and walked over, giving his uncle a manly hug. "Happy birthday."

Luke hugged back and gave him a thump on the back. "Thanks."

Liz tugged on Jess's arm. "Come on! TJ is upstairs cooking, and he wants your help!"

Jess sighed. "I'm so very, very lucky. The world is my burrito."

Liz pouted. "Stop Quoting Weird Al and come on!"

He shrugged at his uncle. "At least she got the reference."

Luke smirked as his sister dragged her son up the stairs to the apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

Chapter 8:

_September 19th: Talk like a Pirate Day_

Upon walking down the stairs into Truncheon books that morning, Jess, to say the least, was baffled.

His friend, housemate, and business partner was dressed up as a pirate. Pegged leg, eye patch, hat…he was even drooling.

Chris walked over to Jess and shook his head. "He's aware that it's…talk like a pirate day, and not…dress like a pirate day, right?"

"Apparently not," Jess muttered. He walked over to Matt and tapped him on the shoulder.

Matt turned from the browsers he'd been talking to. "Yarrrr! Ahoy!"

"Yeah…ahoy…whatever," Jess muttered. "You know that you didn't have to dress up as a pirate, right?"

"But I wanted to," Matt replied, still using his pirate voice.

Jess nodded. "Right."

The door to the shop opened and a short blonde girl a little younger than the trio of owners walked in. She stood at attention before Matt and Jess. "Ahoy! Reporting for duty, captains!"

"Yarr!" Matt growled.

"I'm in hell," Jess muttered. He gave the girl a once-over. "Casey…remind me why we hired you?"

"I'm cute, bubbly, helpful, and organized," she smiled.

Jess gave a slow nod. "Good. Go start organizing the back room. Captain Morgan here will be back to help you just as soon as he gets rid of his peg leg."

"Touch me peg leg, and walk the plank!" Matt cried.

Jess gave Matt a long stare before walking away. "I'm in hell."


	9. Chapter 9

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

Part 9:

_October 8th: Rory's Birthday_

"Hi, Sweetie!"

Jess rolled his eyes and grinned at his mother as he stepped into her home in Stars Hollow.

"Thank you so much for coming to help," Liz said, waddling along behind her son. Being six months pregnant was as much fun as she remembered it to be…which was none at all. "I know you've got a lot to do, with the store and all."

"It's Sunday," Jess reminded her. "I told you I can spare Sundays."

Liz smiled. "Well, TJ and Luke are already upstairs, getting ready to paint, so head on up."

"You gonna be okay down here?" Jess asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about me!" she said, giving him a light, playful shove. "Carrie's comin' over, and we're gonna watch some movies…make some popcorn…do girls things."

He nodded. "Good."

"You want anything?"

"Beer'ed be nice."

"No can do," Liz shook her head. "Don't have any."

He gave her a confused stare.

She smiled. "There's soda in the fridge."

Jess nodded slowly, and patted Liz on the shoulder before heading to the kitchen. He grabbed a coke from the fridge and then hopped up the stairs, swinging into the first room on his right. The floor was covered in tarp, and Luke and TJ were painting opposite walls a light shade of green.

"Isn't pink supposed to be for girls?" he asked them.

"Don't be sexist, Read," TJ scolded. "This is a perfectly nice color for your little sister."

"Never said it wasn't," Jess replied, walking in. He pulled off his jacket and put it in the hallway before taking up a paint brush. "Which wall am I doing?"

Luke pointed to the one in-between the two men.

He started to put an even coat of paint on it without a word.

"How's Philly?" Luke asked.

"Fine," Jess nodded. "Got a secretary recently…Matt's sleeping with her."

"Good for him," Luke smirked.

"You sleepin' with anybody recently?" TJ asked.

"Nope," Jess replied.

"Ever gonna have sex again?" TJ asked.

"Yep."

"I'd start workin' on that if I was you," TJ said. "That libido ain't gonna last forever."

Jess flinched at the word "libido" and shook his head. "I'm not too worried."

Luke shook his head. "TJ, never say libido ever again."

"Libido!" TJ cried.

"Fuckin' shit," Jess muttered.

"Hey!" TJ cried. "Watch that mouth."

"You just said libido!"

"Knock it off, you two," Luke snapped. "Just paint, will ya?"

"What about you, Luke?" TJ asked. "You ever gonna have sex again?"

"I think I just had an aneurism," Jess muttered.

"Nah, you'd be dead by now," TJ replied. "So, Luke?"

"I don't know, okay?" Luke snapped.

Jess stayed silent for a moment. "You miss her."

"Don't go there."

"It's true."

"Miss who?" TJ asked.

"Miss whom," Jess corrected.

"It doesn't matter whether I miss her or not," Luke said. "She made her call."

"And it was a bad call," Jess replied. "I think she knows that."

"Who knows?" TJ asked.

"Doesn't mean she didn't do what she did," Luke muttered.

"Have you tried talking to her?" Jess asked.

"Why should I?"

"Because you love her."

"Doesn't matter."

Jess shook his head. "If you say so." He sighed and put down his paint brush. "I'll be right back."

Luke watched him leave the room. "You better not be going out to smoke! I'll kill you if you are!"

Jess waved a dismissive hand and walked down the stairs.

"Hey, you," Liz smiled from the couch she gestured to the woman painting her toenails. "You remember Carrie, don't you?"

Carrie smiled. "Hi, Jess."

Jess nodded. "I'll be right back."

"Something wrong?" Liz asked.

"Nope. Just gotta do something." He walked out of the house and pulled out his cell phone. He didn't make a habit of using text messages, but it made more sense then and there.

"Happy birthday, Gilmore," he typed. "-Jess."

He waited a few moments, and was rewarded with the light "ding" letting him know someone had replied.

"Thanks, Dodger," it read.

He nodded and shut his phone as he walked back inside.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Yeah. I know. Casey is suspiciously turning into Harmony...I don't know how it happened. Honest. 

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

Part 10:

_October 12th: International Moment of Frustration Scream Day_

Jess Marinao jumped just about four feet in the air when his secretary's shrill scream rang out through the office.

"Christ on a stick!" He snapped, leaving the store room to rush into the main shop. "Casey!"

She smiled sheepishly at him from her desk. "Hiya, Jess."

He glared at her. "Is the office on fire?"

"No."

"Did some maniac burst in here with a gun?"

"No."

"Explosives?"

"Nope."

"A great, big Cabbage Patch Kid?"

Casey shuddered. "Ugh! No. Ew, why'd you have to bring up the Cabbage Patches?"

"Casey."

"With their big, creepy heads."

"Casey."

"And those beedy eyes."

Jess sighed.

"And their...belly buttons...and disturbingly curly hair, and-"

"CASEY!"

"What?"

"Why in the name of all that is sane in this world did you scream at the top of your lungs!"

She blinked. "What?"

"You screamed."

"Oh!" She smiled. "This guy came in asking if we sold batteries."

Jess blinked. "Huh."

"And I said no. And he was like 'are you sure?' and I was like 'Dude, we're a book place. Duh.' And then he just kinda left."

"And..."

"He was a jerk!" she cried. "And...it's Moment of Frustration Scream day so I just... let 'er rip."

Jess stared for a long moment.

He stared.

And stared.

And then he screamed, loud and long, before stalking back into the storeroom.

Casey giggled. "That's the Spirit!"


	11. Chapter 11

A/n: Yar! Dean bashing be in this chapter. Ye have been warned! 

**A Year in the Life of Jess Mariano**

Part 11

_October 15th: National Grouch Day_

"All hail king grouch!" Chris smirked as Jess cmae down the stairs for work that morning. "Casey's making you a grouch crown."

"Scram," Jess snapped.

"Did he just quote Sesame Street?" Matt asked, walking over.

"He did," Chris nodded. "Our very own grouch."

"Jesus," Jess muttered. He headed for his desk and stopped suddenly at the sight of an abnormally tall form looking blankly at the book on the shelves. "No..."

"What is he staring at that guy for?" Casey asked. "I thought Jess was straight."

"Indeed," Chris nodded. "Curiouser and curiouser."

Jess sauntered up and cleared his throat a little. "I'm sorry, Dean. We don't sell Hooked on Phonics here. Though if you checked Walmart..."

Dean turned, his eyes wide. "No."

Jess waved. "Hello, Bagboy."

Dean's shoulder slumped. "What the hell are you doing here? Didn't you like...run halfway across the world to go make someone else miserable?"

Jess shrugged. "Got bored. I own this place."

"Bull."

"Well...co-own."

"You're lying just to screw with me," Dean glared.

Jess grinned. "It'd screw with you more if it were true, wouldn't it?"

"Jess!" Matt called from the door. "UPS is here with our shit!"

His grin widened. "Duty calls, Jolly Green. See ya round."

Dean glowered after Jess as he walked off.

Casey walked over and looked up at Dean. "You un-grouched our grouch." She reached up and set the 'Grouch' crown atop Dean's head. "You're king grouch now."

"Casey! Stop poking the ogre and help us!" Matt called.

Casey smiled at Dean and waved before rushing off.

"Who the hell was that guy?" Chris asked.

"An asshole I knew in my youth," Jess replied.

"Yes, because you're just ancient," Matt joked.

Jess shook his head. "Let's just unpack this stuff."


End file.
